Ta La La

Later I found out that there was one text message that required opening. Though my eyes were filled with morning gems, I managed to easily read my message.

“Good morning babe! How’s my sweet bear?”

It was Allan. My face was filled with happiness when I read his message.

Allan and I have been together for two years. Our relationship was smooth sailing. They say it was perfect. Allan was a fourth year Chemical Engineering student in one of the prestigious universities of the province while I was an Education student in a private school. A lot of my friends told us that my relationship with Allan was incomparable. I agree. Allan was sweet, caring, thoughtful and most of all, handsome. Well, for me, I could say I am pretty, witty, and well-built. We were both scholars in our own field that’s why they say we were couples made in heaven.

I took a look at my cellphone again and started typing my reply.

“I just woke up babe. It’s really cold outside so I can’t get up now. How I wish you were here by my side, cuddling me.”

After sending my message, I grabbed my teddy bear (which Allan gave to me when we had our 2^nd anniversary) and hugged it tight. I waited for Allan’s reply for three minutes but I received nothing. Well, I just thought he was busy or he went to the bathroom or he was changing his clothes. An hour passed, still, no reply. I got up from bed and answered my mom’s loud call from the kitchen.

Breakfast was ready when I went down. This was what I loved about Saturdays. No school, no boring teachers, no practice teaching, no stubborn pupils, and most especially, Saturday meant bonding with my mom.

I was putting butter on my toast when my mom reminded me of the cooking session we were going to do the whole day. My mom loved cooking. She told me that the best way to a man’s heart was through his stomach. Well, I knew how to cook but not those complicated dishes. That’s why my mom prompted me of the food we were to cook – lasagna. My mom told me that my late dad loved lasagna so my mom had to buy an Italian cookbook to learn different Italian cuisines. I didn’t get that preference from my dad. I personally liked Filipino and Chinese foods. Well, aside from their sharp taste, these foods were one of a kind. And honestly, Allan loved Chinese food.

“Hey, Reese, did you check the internet already?”

“Mom?”

“Remember, I told you last night that you have to print the recipe for lasagna?”

“Oh, Mom! I am so sorry I forgot.”

“Well, that’s okay sweetheart. Maybe I could do that myself.”

“No, mom! I will do it. I will just finish my toast.”

I went to my bedroom and started browsing the internet. Lasagna! Lasagna! Lasagna! The hell with this recipe. Why did we have to make lasagna and not spaghetti or macaroni instead? Ugh!

After three minutes, I finally saw a cooking blog, with Italian foods as its specialty. I looked over the blog and I got the perfect lasagna for the whole day’s cooking. I loved zucchini very much that’s why I was shouting with joy when I saw that recipe on Zucchini Lasagna. I printed the page and went down immediately.

After the long preparation, my mom and I were ready to cook. Suddenly, I heard my phone rang. I ran towards the living room and took off my phone from its charger. It was a text message from Allan.

“Hey, babe! Just checkin’ you out. I miss you so much. By the way babe, my section decided to have an overnight stay in Rick’s house. We have to finish our filtration analysis. I am sorry I can’t come over to your house tonight. It was sudden. I love you babe.”

There was pain in my heart. But, who was I to stop Allan? That was a battle between his grades and me. I came to thinking, if I was in his position, I really had to finish the project also and Allan would understand that.

“It’s alright babe. I will just see you next time. Good luck! I love  you too, babe.”

I went back to the kitchen and started cooking with my mom.

My Saturday afternoon was sad. I could say, it was kind of lonely because of Allan’s absence. My mom and I were used to seeing Allan in the house every weekend especially on Saturdays. Allan had to study and finish his college for the both of us. That was only my compliment.

After cooking and eating, I decided to have a movie marathon. I finished three movies and yet, I was like not watching movies after all. I missed Allan very much. We would have been in my bedroom, teasing each other and making out. We were both sexually active but we practiced safe sex. I remember one time when we made out just after we had lunch and I was really into it and I couldn’t help myself than to give a loud moan. My mom, who was just in her bedroom (which was next to mine) called and asked me what was happening and I lied to her saying that Allan pinched me hard.

Well, Allan was not here and I guessed I had to spend the whole night alone.

It was exactly 9:00 PM when I decided to visit Allan and his group mates. I took some of our lasagna leftover, put it in a plastic container and wrapped it. Before I left the house, I made sure I put on my sweet perfume and lip gloss.

I was in already in my car when I started dialing Allan’s number. There was no answer. I dialed again, still, no answer. Maybe they are too busy that even hearing phones’ ringtones are ignorable. After making ten calls with no answer, I started the engine and drove to Rick’s place.

When I arrived there, I saw people moving in the living room. I stood on the door step and pressed the doorbell. After a few seconds, Rick came out and he was surprised to see me. I greeted him and asked for Allan. He let me in and led me towards the living room.

Inside, I saw Allan’s group mates. I saw different apparatuses and thick books. Hell no to Chemistry! But I didn’t see Allan there. I asked where Allan was and Ryan told me he was upstairs, in Rick’s bedroom. I went upstairs to check Rick’s door and it was slightly opened. But the lights are turned off. I slowly opened the door, turned on the light and to my surprise; I saw Allan and Cindy banging in Rick’s bed. I couldn’t believe what I saw.  Allan and Cindy were also stunned when they saw me standing on the door step. Cindy swiftly grabbed the blanket and Allan put on his boxer shorts. I saw Allan heading towards me then I started to scream.

“I don’t care what position you were in and how many orgasms you had but what the hell is going on?”

“Reese, I can explain.” It was Allan.

“Oh maybe I asked the wrong question because I already saw you thrusting her fucking cunt!”

“It’s not what you think, Reese.” It was Cindy.

“Oh really? Like what would I think? That you were just doing an act that the director wanted the two of you to fuck? Or is this a part of your analysis?”

“Reese, please listen!” It was Allan.

“Listen? My eyes saw everything, Allan!”

“Please listen, Reese.”

“I don’t need to listen to you, Allan! And ahhhhh, that is why you were not answering your phone because you were busy banging this slut!”

“Stop shouting, Reese. Please”

I didn’t give an answer. My eyes were welled with tears and momentarily, the tears fell. I went out from the room and ran downstairs. I heard Allan calling me but I didn’t look back nor gave him an answer. Rick came and held my shoulders.

“What’s wrong, Reese?”

“What’s wrong? Rick! What’s wrong? You ask me that question?”

“What’s going on?”

“Why don’t you ask these two assholes here?”

“Allan? Cindy? What the hell is going on?”

The two didn’t answer. I looked at Rick and said:

“I guess we don’t need any answers here. I’ve seen enough and I know you guys aren’t dumb to think of what happened. I have to go.”

“But, Reese…”

“Save your saliva, Allan! And oh, I thought you were having a filtration analysis. Or did you mean, penetration analysis?”

There was a deafening silence in the room. I went out of the house trying to stop my eyes from crying but I couldn’t. I couldn’t believe what Allan did. Wasn’t I perfect for him? I haven’t caused him any pain but why did he do that?

I rushed home and saw my mom sitting on the sofa. I hugged her tight and gave a loud, painful cry. My mom asked what happened and I told her everything. My mom didn’t say a word. I knew that would happen. I knew that my mom would let me feel that way to learn. All I got from my mom were soft “sshhhh” and a tight hug.

The next day, I woke up with teary eyes. I remembered what I saw last night. Naked sluts, banging bitches, loud moans and wide, separated legs. I took a look at my phone and I saw 127 missed calls from Allan. I opened my inbox and I saw a long thread of Allan’s text messages. I forced myself not to cry. It’s funny how you can be hurt so bad…from the person you least expected it from.

I let weeks passed until I decided to talk to Allan. I told him that we will talk in Central Park at 5:00 in the afternoon. He agreed to the said time and location and he even told me that he missed me so much.

Exactly 5:00 when I saw Allan, sitting on one of the benches in the park. I saw in his face that he really wanted to see me. I wore a casual face. I didn’t smile nor showed him an angry face. He stood up and came to greet me.

“Hey, Reese.”

“I would like to hear from you, Allan.” Start!”

“First, I am so sorry. You know, I was just tempted. Cindy started kissing me and I was carried away.”

I didn’t talk. And he continued.

“You are perfect for me, Reese. And I regret for what I have done.”

After hearing those words, I began talking.

“First, I loved you Allan. I just really couldn’t imagine why you did that to me. Sometimes, we give all our love, trust and time to someone whom we thought would stay with us; yet, they left you with a broken heart, broke your dreams and tore you apart.”

“Reese, I am deeply sorry.”

“I know and honestly, my love for you was like a bulletproof but you were the one who shot me. That really hurts, Allan.”

“Reese, please forgive me. I am begging you. I want us back, Reese.”

Then all of a sudden, he knelt in front of me. I held his hands and took him up. I looked directly to his eyes and said:

“You know, I have thought about this a million times. But it just led me to one conclusion. That is, NO! No because you have caused me pain and if I will forgive you this time, you will betray and cheat on me again. I thought if you were really faithful, you should have not done that.”

“Please, Reese!”

“Allan. No. Let’s stop this. And I know that we could be in our proper places if we will stop this.”

Allan was silent. I took away my hands from his and started walking away. I thought, when a heart breaks, it screams out in pain. You may hear a plaintive cry, but the silence is deafening. Betrayal is a bitter pill. The bitterness lingers, stifling out happiness and peace. But, I had to let go. I had such realizations and I knew that having him out of my life would help me move forward.

As I was walking away from Allan, I brought out my Ipod, went to my playlist and played one of my favorite songs. I plugged in my earphones and Adele started to sing in my ears.

Never mind, I’ll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you too.