.jpg)
The hazy morning I saw outside my
window convinced me to have five more minutes to curl my body inside this
Parisian blanket my mom bought when she went to Europe. I took a look at my
smart phone and it showed me that it was 12 degrees centigrade cold so I was
even more convinced to stay a little bit longer in bed.
Later I found out that there was one
text message that required opening. Though my eyes were filled with morning
gems, I managed to easily read my message.
“Good morning babe! How’s my sweet
bear?”
It was Allan. My face was filled with
happiness when I read his message.
Allan and I have been together for two
years. Our relationship was smooth sailing. They say it was perfect. Allan was
a fourth year Chemical Engineering student in one of the prestigious universities
of the province while I was an Education student in a private school. A lot of
my friends told us that my relationship with Allan was incomparable. I agree.
Allan was sweet, caring, thoughtful and most of all, handsome. Well, for me, I
could say I am pretty, witty, and well-built. We were both scholars in our own
field that’s why they say we were couples made in heaven.
I took a look at my cellphone again
and started typing my reply.
“I just woke up babe. It’s really cold
outside so I can’t get up now. How I wish you were here by my side, cuddling
me.”
After sending my message, I grabbed my
teddy bear (which Allan gave to me when we had our 2nd anniversary)
and hugged it tight. I waited for Allan’s reply for three minutes but I received
nothing. Well, I just thought he was busy or he went to the bathroom or he was
changing his clothes. An hour passed, still, no reply. I got up from bed and
answered my mom’s loud call from the kitchen.
Breakfast was ready when I went down.
This was what I loved about Saturdays. No school, no boring teachers, no
practice teaching, no stubborn pupils, and most especially, Saturday meant
bonding with my mom.
I was putting butter on my toast when
my mom reminded me of the cooking session we were going to do the whole day. My
mom loved cooking. She told me that the best way to a man’s heart was through
his stomach. Well, I knew how to cook but not those complicated dishes. That’s
why my mom prompted me of the food we were to cook – lasagna. My mom told me
that my late dad loved lasagna so my mom had to buy an Italian cookbook to
learn different Italian cuisines. I didn’t get that preference from my dad. I
personally liked Filipino and Chinese foods. Well, aside from their sharp
taste, these foods were one of a kind. And honestly, Allan loved Chinese food.
“Hey, Reese, did you check the
internet already?”
“Mom?”
“Remember, I told you last night that
you have to print the recipe for lasagna?”
“Oh, Mom! I am so sorry I forgot.”
“Well, that’s okay sweetheart. Maybe I
could do that myself.”
“No, mom! I will do it. I will just
finish my toast.”
I went to my bedroom and started
browsing the internet. Lasagna! Lasagna! Lasagna! The hell with this recipe.
Why did we have to make lasagna and not spaghetti or macaroni instead? Ugh!
After three minutes, I finally saw a
cooking blog, with Italian foods as its specialty. I looked over the blog and I
got the perfect lasagna for the whole day’s cooking. I loved zucchini very much
that’s why I was shouting with joy when I saw that recipe on Zucchini Lasagna.
I printed the page and went down immediately.
After the long preparation, my mom and
I were ready to cook. Suddenly, I heard my phone rang. I ran towards the living
room and took off my phone from its charger. It was a text message from Allan.
“Hey, babe! Just checkin’ you out. I
miss you so much. By the way babe, my section decided to have an overnight stay
in Rick’s house. We have to finish our filtration analysis. I am sorry I can’t
come over to your house tonight. It was sudden. I love you babe.”
There was pain in my heart. But, who
was I to stop Allan? That was a battle between his grades and me. I came to
thinking, if I was in his position, I really had to finish the project also and
Allan would understand that.
“It’s alright babe. I will just see
you next time. Good luck! I love you
too, babe.”
I went back to the kitchen and started
cooking with my mom.
My Saturday afternoon was sad. I could
say, it was kind of lonely because of Allan’s absence. My mom and I were used
to seeing Allan in the house every weekend especially on Saturdays. Allan had to study and finish his college
for the both of us. That was only my compliment.
After cooking and eating, I decided to
have a movie marathon. I finished three movies and yet, I was like not watching
movies after all. I missed Allan very much. We would have been in my bedroom,
teasing each other and making out. We were both sexually active but we
practiced safe sex. I remember one time when we made out just after we had
lunch and I was really into it and I couldn’t help myself than to give a loud
moan. My mom, who was just in her bedroom (which was next to mine) called and
asked me what was happening and I lied to her saying that Allan pinched me
hard.
Well, Allan was not here and I guessed
I had to spend the whole night alone.
It was exactly 9:00 PM when I decided
to visit Allan and his group mates. I took some of our lasagna leftover, put it
in a plastic container and wrapped it. Before I left the house, I made sure I put
on my sweet perfume and lip gloss.
I was in already in my car when I
started dialing Allan’s number. There was no answer. I dialed again, still, no
answer. Maybe they are too busy that even
hearing phones’ ringtones are ignorable. After making ten calls with no
answer, I started the engine and drove to Rick’s place.
When I arrived there, I saw people
moving in the living room. I stood on the door step and pressed the doorbell. After
a few seconds, Rick came out and he was surprised to see me. I greeted him and
asked for Allan. He let me in and led me towards the living room.
Inside, I saw Allan’s group mates. I
saw different apparatuses and thick books. Hell
no to Chemistry! But I didn’t see Allan there. I asked where Allan was and
Ryan told me he was upstairs, in Rick’s bedroom. I went upstairs to check Rick’s
door and it was slightly opened. But the lights are turned off. I slowly opened
the door, turned on the light and to my surprise; I saw Allan and Cindy banging
in Rick’s bed. I couldn’t believe what I saw.
Allan and Cindy were also stunned when they saw me standing on the door
step. Cindy swiftly grabbed the blanket and Allan put on his boxer shorts. I
saw Allan heading towards me then I started to scream.
“I don’t care what position you were
in and how many orgasms you had but what the hell is going on?”
“Reese, I can explain.” It was Allan.
“Oh maybe I asked the wrong question
because I already saw you thrusting her fucking cunt!”
“It’s not what you think, Reese.” It
was Cindy.
“Oh really? Like what would I think?
That you were just doing an act that the director wanted the two of you to
fuck? Or is this a part of your analysis?”
“Reese, please listen!” It was Allan.
“Listen? My eyes saw everything,
Allan!”
“Please listen, Reese.”
“I don’t need to listen to you, Allan!
And ahhhhh, that is why you were not answering your phone because you were busy
banging this slut!”
“Stop shouting, Reese. Please”
I didn’t give an answer. My eyes were
welled with tears and momentarily, the tears fell. I went out from the room and
ran downstairs. I heard Allan calling me but I didn’t look back nor gave him an
answer. Rick came and held my shoulders.
“What’s wrong, Reese?”
“What’s wrong? Rick! What’s wrong? You
ask me that question?”
“What’s going on?”
“Why don’t you ask these two assholes here?”
“Allan? Cindy? What the hell is going
on?”
The two didn’t answer. I looked at
Rick and said:
“I guess we don’t need any answers
here. I’ve seen enough and I know you guys aren’t dumb to think of what
happened. I have to go.”
“But, Reese…”
“Save your saliva, Allan! And oh, I thought
you were having a filtration analysis. Or did you mean, penetration analysis?”
There was a deafening silence in the
room. I went out of the house trying to stop my eyes from crying but I couldn’t.
I couldn’t believe what Allan did. Wasn’t I perfect for him? I haven’t caused
him any pain but why did he do that?
I rushed home and saw my mom sitting
on the sofa. I hugged her tight and gave a loud, painful cry. My mom asked what
happened and I told her everything. My mom didn’t say a word. I knew that would
happen. I knew that my mom would let me feel that way to learn. All I got from
my mom were soft “sshhhh” and a tight hug.
The next day, I woke up with teary
eyes. I remembered what I saw last night. Naked sluts, banging bitches, loud
moans and wide, separated legs. I took a look at my phone and I saw 127 missed
calls from Allan. I opened my inbox and I saw a long thread of Allan’s text
messages. I forced myself not to cry. It’s
funny how you can be hurt so bad…from the person you least expected it from.
I let weeks passed until I decided to
talk to Allan. I told him that we will talk in Central Park at 5:00 in the
afternoon. He agreed to the said time and location and he even told me that he
missed me so much.
Exactly 5:00 when I saw Allan, sitting
on one of the benches in the park. I saw in his face that he really wanted to
see me. I wore a casual face. I didn’t smile nor showed him an angry face. He stood
up and came to greet me.
“Hey, Reese.”
“I would like to hear from you, Allan.”
Start!”
“First, I am so sorry. You know, I was
just tempted. Cindy started kissing me and I was carried away.”
I didn’t talk. And he continued.
“You are perfect for me, Reese. And I regret
for what I have done.”
After hearing those words, I began
talking.
“First, I loved you Allan. I just really
couldn’t imagine why you did that to me. Sometimes, we give all our love, trust
and time to someone whom we thought would stay with us; yet, they left you with
a broken heart, broke your dreams and tore you apart.”
“Reese, I am deeply sorry.”
“I know and honestly, my love for you
was like a bulletproof but you were the one who shot me. That really hurts,
Allan.”
“Reese, please forgive me. I am
begging you. I want us back, Reese.”
Then all of a sudden, he knelt in
front of me. I held his hands and took him up. I looked directly to his eyes
and said:
“You know, I have thought about this a
million times. But it just led me to one conclusion. That is, NO! No because
you have caused me pain and if I will forgive you this time, you will betray and
cheat on me again. I thought if you were really faithful, you should have not done
that.”
“Please, Reese!”
“Allan. No. Let’s stop this. And I know
that we could be in our proper places if we will stop this.”
Allan was silent. I took away my hands from his and started walking away. I thought, when a heart breaks, it screams out in pain. You may hear a plaintive cry, but the silence is deafening. Betrayal is a bitter pill. The bitterness lingers, stifling out happiness and peace. But, I had to let go. I had such realizations and I knew that having him out of my life would help me move forward.
As I was walking away from Allan, I brought
out my Ipod, went to my playlist and played one of my favorite songs. I plugged
in my earphones and Adele started to sing in my ears.
Never mind, I’ll
find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you too.
