The Wet Shoes

I slowly put my ballet shoes in the last box in front of me. Two days were not enough for me to pack all the things I needed for college. I told my mom that I didn’t have to bring all my clothes in an instant for I can still go back home and get the left ones. However, my mom would not listen. HP University was not that far from my hometown so I could go home on weekends – actually that was my ultimate reason but then, mom would just shut me up. When I finished filling the box, I grabbed a big brown envelope and when I was about to insert it in the box, a gold medal fell on the floor. I took it and I felt so proud upon seeing the inscription on the medal – Dancer of the Year.

I suddenly remembered how I danced on the stage in front of many people during our school recital. That was the last dance activity I had before I left high school. What made my high school so memorable was the Dancer of the Year award given to me during my graduation. Well, high school was over and the real deal was about to start. “Eight more days!” I softly whispered.

My first week in HP University was exciting. Recruitment was all over the campus. I saw a lot of stalls in front of every college wherein respective officers (I guess) were busy giving fliers and invitations to freshmen. Out of curiosity, I braved the crowd and went immediately to the stall where I saw a big tarpaulin which read – You dance? Now is your chance! I carefully examined the stall and I was definitely at the right place. I picked a lengthwise size paper on the table and swiftly left the stall. My heart was pounding with joy as I was reading what was written on the paper.

                What: Hotsteppers Dance Audition
                When: July 14, 2013, 1:00 PM
                Where: HP Auditorium

                Note: Bring with you your practice clothes, music, and your bio-data.

July 14th. After finishing lunch, I took a shower and prepared the things I needed for the audition. “Practice clothes – check! Gatorade – check! Ballet shoes – check! CD – check! Well, I am so ready for the audition.” I didn’t wait for my clock to strike 1:00. Exactly twenty minutes before one; I was already at the waiting area of the auditorium. There were only I guess five of us sitting on the bleachers of the area. Minutes passed and more and more students filled the waiting area. Then the audition began.

The dance area was filled with anxious and excited faces. I saw a wide platform at the center of the hall and a long table at the north part of it. There were at least five people behind it and I thought they were the judges – three girls and two boys. Fear was written all over my face as I saw the girl seated at the center among the judges curled her forehead while looking at the students dancing on the platform. “I can do this!”

“JESS!” shouted the girl who was holding our bio data. That was my name being called. I suddenly felt cold and still. Then she repeated calling my name. “That’s me!” I replied. I slowly entered the hall and handed my cd to the operator. I went to the center of the platform and looked at the judges’ faces.

“What’s your name?” someone from the table asked.

“Jess.”

“Alright, Jess. So you know that this is a dance audition and if you have the qualifications we are looking for, then you can join the Hotsteppers.”

“Yes, I’m aware of that.”

“So, what dances do you know?”

“I know ballet, lyrical and contemporary.”

“That’s good. And what are you going to do today?”

“I’m going to do contemporary.”

“Tell us about your dance.”

That was unexpected. I didn’t know that the audition had preliminary interview. I gathered my strength and I told them about my dance.

“Well, I chose the song of Pink and Nate which is Just Give Me a Reason because I believe that there is a strong and conflicting emotion in their song. So I decided to make a dance of two genders, one from Pink’s side and one from Nate’s and mixed them.”

“That’s interesting. So, if you’re ready, Jess?”

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

I started to dance. There it went, the moment I had been waiting for. I enjoyed every second of the music. For me, dancing was life. It gave me a way to escape from the bitterness of reality. Dancing was freedom.

I finished my dance with a smooth fall. I heard some of the students clapped and I felt relieved. “At least, I did my best and I guess the judges were impressed.” They called me in front and the girl at the center of the table started giving her comments.

“You did a good job, Jess. So, the other four judges already told me their remarks so I will just condense everything. Okay, first, your choice of music was great. You have justified your dance considering that you have shown the incorporation of elements from the many styles of dance. You utilized both the strong and controlled legwork of ballet. However, we really have a big problem with your recovery every time you do the fall-recovery technique. Finally, I didn’t like you wearing ballet shoes. This is contemporary darling. I’m not saying that ballet shoes are not good for contemporary but barefoot dancing allows you to really feel the floor and it has a grounded floor that appeals to the dancer. Oh well, I guess I talked too much, Jess. We will just post the names of those who pass the auditions. Thank you for coming.”

I didn’t give a reply. I was really frustrated. I gave them a soft, sad look and I slowly walked out from the hall. I guess they were right. I should have been more careful. I sat on one of the chairs in the lobby and sloppily finger-combed my hair. The sky was turning gray and I felt that sooner or later it would rain. I wanted to cry. I really wanted to cry. I wanted to be a part of the Hotsteppers badly. I just crossed my fingers. The sky was already pouring its drizzles so I started walking towards home. Momentarily, there was a thick sheet of rain around me. I didn’t run. I let my body feel the cold water. My ballet shoes were already wet but I didn’t mind.

One hot afternoon, after attending my Physics class, I saw a group of students looking at the bulletin board. Some of them were shouting and some showed faces of disappointment. I was curious so I joined them looking at the paper pinned on the board. It was the announcement of those who passed the dance audition. I immediately looked for my name. “Jess Juan! Jess Juan! Jess Juan!” I couldn’t find my name so I scanned the paper again. Still, no Jess Juan. I thought I was just dreaming so I went back to the paper and looked for my name. It came to me; my name was not really there. I didn’t pass the audition. I left and went to the ladies’ comfort room. After getting inside the far most cubicle, I sat on the toilet bowl and I gave a loud cry. “Why?” That was the only question I repeatedly asked. After draining my tear ducts, I went out from the cubicle, composed myself and went out from the comfort room.

                “Jess?” someone asked from behind.

                “Yes?” I looked at who called me and I was shocked.

                “Hi, do you still remember me?”

                “Yes! Yes! You were one of the judges during the audition right?”

                “Exactly. By the way, I’m Alex.”

                “Nice meeting you, Alex.”

                “The pleasure is mine. Hey, were you crying?”

                “Ha? Oh no. My eyes were just irritated so I rubbed them a while ago.”

                “Okay. By the way, the results of the dance audition are already posted. Did you see your  
name?”

“No.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“But you know, you were my bet during the auditions. You are a good dancer.”

“You say I’m good but that’s just only to you.”

“No, I mean, yes you are good. You are even better than the others who auditioned.”

“But I didn’t pass the audition.”

“Hey, don’t lose hope. I will talk to Frina.” He was referring to the captain of the troupe.

“No, no. It’s okay. Maybe dancing was not really meant for me.”

“Don’t give up on dancing, Jess. Please!”

                “No, Alex. My sister was right. Dancing won’t lead me to anything. It’s just a waste of time.”

                “Don’t say that. Look at me, at first I was just an ordinary dancer. People around me inspired me
 to continue my dream and to continue dancing. I had trainings. Now, I don’t say I’m the best   
 but I can say I am a new Alex.”

“I guess you are right, Alex. But, I think I have to forget dancing for the meantime.”

“Are you really giving up on dancing, Jess?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. I guess that’s your final decision. But if you change your mind, I will be coming up with a dance participation for the College Ball. If you want, you can join the group. Practice starts tomorrow at 5 o’clock in the afternoon. HP Dance Hall.”

I gave him a light nod and then he left. It was already 5:30 in the afternoon so I decided to go home. During that night, I couldn’t forget what Alex told me. He was right. I had to keep on dancing. I was thinking of joining his group. There was a long contemplation then I finally decided to sleep.

Exactly 5:30 when I was finally at HP Dance Hall. At first, I was really nervous but after mustering enough strength, I entered the hall. I saw at least 12 people doing some dance steps. I gave a thrift smile and my eyes wandered. “Where is Alex?” I looked around the hall. “Ah, there you are.” Alex was fixing the player socket so I wasn’t able to see him because he was behind a big table. He waved upon seeing me.

                “You came!” he said full of excitement.

                “Yeah, I did. I see you are so busy huh. Are you the dance choreographer?”

                “Yes, I am. So, are you finally joining my group?”

                “Would I be here if I didn’t want to dance with your group?”

                “Hahahaha. Very well. Hey, I want you to meet your fellow dancers.”

Alex introduced me to the other dancers. I had the chance to know them better. Some of them failed to be Hotsteppers like me and some of them were already members of the dance troupe. They told me that we were going to do hip-hop. I admitted that I was not really into hip-hop but they assured me that it would be very easy for me to learn. They also told me that I had to take risks if I really wanted to become the best dancer.

At first, I really had a hard time following Alex’s steps. What I did was to sit in front of him and watched him danced. Alex was a total performer. He knew how to do jazz, ballet, contemporary, modern and hip-hop. His movements were precise and accurate. He made sure that his dancers followed his steps easily. Well, for me, it was not hard to follow but the problem was me. I sometimes did lame movements when Alex required us to look stiff and hard. But what I liked about Alex was he did not let us drown by frustration. Instead, he even motivated us to move forward and keep on doing the routine.

After several days of extreme practice, we finally finished the dance. What we had to do was the polishing. Two more days before the ball and we were all excited. Honestly, I was taught various hip-hop styles that made me even more flexible and competent. I knew how to do the military-cramp roll, then the pop and lock and the snake arms. I looked funny when I did those styles for the first time. It took me at least six days to master those styles. Alex told me that I had remarkable improvements and he assured me that I could already prove my sister that she was wrong and I could be the next dance superstar.


August 9th. The day that we were waiting for. Before I went to the ball, I made sure my rubber shoes, jeans and tee were neatly packed in my bag. There was a wide smile on my face as I gracefully left home.

The theater was already half-filled with third year and fourth year students in their elegant and eye-catching gowns and sophisticated tuxedos. Well, I was only in my first year so I just decided to wear a yellow semi-formal dress which complimented my tanned skin. I went immediately to the back stage and joined my fellow dancers. After one hour of waiting, we were told to change our clothes and prepare for our number. As I was finishing lacing my shoes, I suddenly remembered my ballet shoes. “Time to take a leap.”

When the emcee called our group, the lights went off. We went to the stage and positioned ourselves. The lights came to life and there was a deafening cheer from the audience. My heart pounded so hard and my lips went dry. Then there it went the first beat of the music. We danced as if there was no tomorrow. We danced as if we were the only people existing in the theater. After it, the audience cheered so hard and I saw Frina slowly standing from her seat and gave us a big applause. Sweat was rolling all over my face but I didn’t mind it at all. I was panting but I managed to give numerous smiles to the audience. The emcee thanked us and gave a very commendable remark.

After the ball, the dancers (including me) went to a bar to celebrate. There was a non-stop talk on our dance. We talked about how we wowed the audience with our breakthrough dance routines. Alex was sitting beside me and he never stopped congratulating me. I thanked him for giving me the opportunity to showcase my talent and for giving me the chance to take the risk.

Three days after our performance and as I was walking the sidewalk in the campus, my cellphone beeped and I got a message from Alex.

“Hey, Jess. I attended a meeting with the Hotsteppers a while ago. We talked about our next plans for the whole month of September. And oh, here’s my important announcement, welcome to Hotsteppers Dance Troupe, Jess.”



I couldn’t believe what I read. Was I dreaming? How come I became one of the Hotsteppers?

                “Huwat? Are you serious? But how come?”

                “Well, Frina saw you dancing during the College Ball and she realized that it would be a great
loss for the troupe if we will not get you. So, she told us this morning that you may join our meeting next Tuesday.”

“OMG! Alex, I can’t believe this. Thank you so much. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Jess. And hmmmm. Jess, I have to say something. If you don’t mind.”

“What is it, Alex?”

“I guess we are done with the dancer-choreographer relationship. What I am saying here is that, can we possibly make it to the next level? I mean, you and me, together?”


I knew what Alex meant. There was a very sweet smile on my face. My heart was filled with joy. I replied…


                “We have to talk. HP Hall in twenty minutes. J


Well, it was late afternoon and the sky was dark again. It was drizzling but I didn’t mind the water falling on my head. I stepped on some puddles but that was not important on that fleeting time. My shoes were wet again but they were not the ballet shoes; they were the shoes I wore when I danced in the ball.#








K.E.
June 29, 2013
3:20 PM




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Someone Like You


The hazy morning I saw outside my window convinced me to have five more minutes to curl my body inside this Parisian blanket my mom bought when she went to Europe. I took a look at my smart phone and it showed me that it was 12 degrees centigrade cold so I was even more convinced to stay a little bit longer in bed.

Later I found out that there was one text message that required opening. Though my eyes were filled with morning gems, I managed to easily read my message.

“Good morning babe! How’s my sweet bear?”

It was Allan. My face was filled with happiness when I read his message.

Allan and I have been together for two years. Our relationship was smooth sailing. They say it was perfect. Allan was a fourth year Chemical Engineering student in one of the prestigious universities of the province while I was an Education student in a private school. A lot of my friends told us that my relationship with Allan was incomparable. I agree. Allan was sweet, caring, thoughtful and most of all, handsome. Well, for me, I could say I am pretty, witty, and well-built. We were both scholars in our own field that’s why they say we were couples made in heaven.

I took a look at my cellphone again and started typing my reply.

“I just woke up babe. It’s really cold outside so I can’t get up now. How I wish you were here by my side, cuddling me.”

After sending my message, I grabbed my teddy bear (which Allan gave to me when we had our 2nd anniversary) and hugged it tight. I waited for Allan’s reply for three minutes but I received nothing. Well, I just thought he was busy or he went to the bathroom or he was changing his clothes. An hour passed, still, no reply. I got up from bed and answered my mom’s loud call from the kitchen.

Breakfast was ready when I went down. This was what I loved about Saturdays. No school, no boring teachers, no practice teaching, no stubborn pupils, and most especially, Saturday meant bonding with my mom.

I was putting butter on my toast when my mom reminded me of the cooking session we were going to do the whole day. My mom loved cooking. She told me that the best way to a man’s heart was through his stomach. Well, I knew how to cook but not those complicated dishes. That’s why my mom prompted me of the food we were to cook – lasagna. My mom told me that my late dad loved lasagna so my mom had to buy an Italian cookbook to learn different Italian cuisines. I didn’t get that preference from my dad. I personally liked Filipino and Chinese foods. Well, aside from their sharp taste, these foods were one of a kind. And honestly, Allan loved Chinese food.

“Hey, Reese, did you check the internet already?”

“Mom?”

“Remember, I told you last night that you have to print the recipe for lasagna?”

“Oh, Mom! I am so sorry I forgot.”

“Well, that’s okay sweetheart. Maybe I could do that myself.”

“No, mom! I will do it. I will just finish my toast.”

I went to my bedroom and started browsing the internet. Lasagna! Lasagna! Lasagna! The hell with this recipe. Why did we have to make lasagna and not spaghetti or macaroni instead? Ugh!

After three minutes, I finally saw a cooking blog, with Italian foods as its specialty. I looked over the blog and I got the perfect lasagna for the whole day’s cooking. I loved zucchini very much that’s why I was shouting with joy when I saw that recipe on Zucchini Lasagna. I printed the page and went down immediately.

After the long preparation, my mom and I were ready to cook. Suddenly, I heard my phone rang. I ran towards the living room and took off my phone from its charger. It was a text message from Allan.

“Hey, babe! Just checkin’ you out. I miss you so much. By the way babe, my section decided to have an overnight stay in Rick’s house. We have to finish our filtration analysis. I am sorry I can’t come over to your house tonight. It was sudden. I love you babe.”

There was pain in my heart. But, who was I to stop Allan? That was a battle between his grades and me. I came to thinking, if I was in his position, I really had to finish the project also and Allan would understand that.

“It’s alright babe. I will just see you next time. Good luck! I love  you too, babe.”

I went back to the kitchen and started cooking with my mom.

My Saturday afternoon was sad. I could say, it was kind of lonely because of Allan’s absence. My mom and I were used to seeing Allan in the house every weekend especially on Saturdays. Allan had to study and finish his college for the both of us. That was only my compliment.

After cooking and eating, I decided to have a movie marathon. I finished three movies and yet, I was like not watching movies after all. I missed Allan very much. We would have been in my bedroom, teasing each other and making out. We were both sexually active but we practiced safe sex. I remember one time when we made out just after we had lunch and I was really into it and I couldn’t help myself than to give a loud moan. My mom, who was just in her bedroom (which was next to mine) called and asked me what was happening and I lied to her saying that Allan pinched me hard.

Well, Allan was not here and I guessed I had to spend the whole night alone.

It was exactly 9:00 PM when I decided to visit Allan and his group mates. I took some of our lasagna leftover, put it in a plastic container and wrapped it. Before I left the house, I made sure I put on my sweet perfume and lip gloss.

I was in already in my car when I started dialing Allan’s number. There was no answer. I dialed again, still, no answer. Maybe they are too busy that even hearing phones’ ringtones are ignorable. After making ten calls with no answer, I started the engine and drove to Rick’s place.

When I arrived there, I saw people moving in the living room. I stood on the door step and pressed the doorbell. After a few seconds, Rick came out and he was surprised to see me. I greeted him and asked for Allan. He let me in and led me towards the living room.

Inside, I saw Allan’s group mates. I saw different apparatuses and thick books. Hell no to Chemistry! But I didn’t see Allan there. I asked where Allan was and Ryan told me he was upstairs, in Rick’s bedroom. I went upstairs to check Rick’s door and it was slightly opened. But the lights are turned off. I slowly opened the door, turned on the light and to my surprise; I saw Allan and Cindy banging in Rick’s bed. I couldn’t believe what I saw.  Allan and Cindy were also stunned when they saw me standing on the door step. Cindy swiftly grabbed the blanket and Allan put on his boxer shorts. I saw Allan heading towards me then I started to scream.

“I don’t care what position you were in and how many orgasms you had but what the hell is going on?”

“Reese, I can explain.” It was Allan.

“Oh maybe I asked the wrong question because I already saw you thrusting her fucking cunt!”

“It’s not what you think, Reese.” It was Cindy.

“Oh really? Like what would I think? That you were just doing an act that the director wanted the two of you to fuck? Or is this a part of your analysis?”

“Reese, please listen!” It was Allan.

“Listen? My eyes saw everything, Allan!”

“Please listen, Reese.”

“I don’t need to listen to you, Allan! And ahhhhh, that is why you were not answering your phone because you were busy banging this slut!”

“Stop shouting, Reese. Please”

I didn’t give an answer. My eyes were welled with tears and momentarily, the tears fell. I went out from the room and ran downstairs. I heard Allan calling me but I didn’t look back nor gave him an answer. Rick came and held my shoulders.

“What’s wrong, Reese?”

“What’s wrong? Rick! What’s wrong? You ask me that question?”

“What’s going on?”

“Why don’t you ask these two assholes here?”

“Allan? Cindy? What the hell is going on?”

The two didn’t answer. I looked at Rick and said:

“I guess we don’t need any answers here. I’ve seen enough and I know you guys aren’t dumb to think of what happened. I have to go.”

“But, Reese…”

“Save your saliva, Allan! And oh, I thought you were having a filtration analysis. Or did you mean, penetration analysis?”

There was a deafening silence in the room. I went out of the house trying to stop my eyes from crying but I couldn’t. I couldn’t believe what Allan did. Wasn’t I perfect for him? I haven’t caused him any pain but why did he do that?

I rushed home and saw my mom sitting on the sofa. I hugged her tight and gave a loud, painful cry. My mom asked what happened and I told her everything. My mom didn’t say a word. I knew that would happen. I knew that my mom would let me feel that way to learn. All I got from my mom were soft “sshhhh” and a tight hug.

The next day, I woke up with teary eyes. I remembered what I saw last night. Naked sluts, banging bitches, loud moans and wide, separated legs. I took a look at my phone and I saw 127 missed calls from Allan. I opened my inbox and I saw a long thread of Allan’s text messages. I forced myself not to cry. It’s funny how you can be hurt so bad…from the person you least expected it from.

I let weeks passed until I decided to talk to Allan. I told him that we will talk in Central Park at 5:00 in the afternoon. He agreed to the said time and location and he even told me that he missed me so much.

Exactly 5:00 when I saw Allan, sitting on one of the benches in the park. I saw in his face that he really wanted to see me. I wore a casual face. I didn’t smile nor showed him an angry face. He stood up and came to greet me.

“Hey, Reese.”

“I would like to hear from you, Allan.” Start!”

“First, I am so sorry. You know, I was just tempted. Cindy started kissing me and I was carried away.”

I didn’t talk. And he continued.

“You are perfect for me, Reese. And I regret for what I have done.”

After hearing those words, I began talking.

“First, I loved you Allan. I just really couldn’t imagine why you did that to me. Sometimes, we give all our love, trust and time to someone whom we thought would stay with us; yet, they left you with a broken heart, broke your dreams and tore you apart.”

“Reese, I am deeply sorry.”

“I know and honestly, my love for you was like a bulletproof but you were the one who shot me. That really hurts, Allan.”

“Reese, please forgive me. I am begging you. I want us back, Reese.”

Then all of a sudden, he knelt in front of me. I held his hands and took him up. I looked directly to his eyes and said:

“You know, I have thought about this a million times. But it just led me to one conclusion. That is, NO! No because you have caused me pain and if I will forgive you this time, you will betray and cheat on me again. I thought if you were really faithful, you should have not done that.”

“Please, Reese!”

“Allan. No. Let’s stop this. And I know that we could be in our proper places if we will stop this.”

Allan was silent. I took away my hands from his and started walking away. I thought, when a heart breaks, it screams out in pain. You may hear a plaintive cry, but the silence is deafening. Betrayal is a bitter pill. The bitterness lingers, stifling out happiness and peace. But, I had to let go. I had such realizations and I knew that having him out of my life would help me move forward.

As I was walking away from Allan, I brought out my Ipod, went to my playlist and played one of my favorite songs. I plugged in my earphones and Adele started to sing in my ears.

Never mind, I’ll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you too.

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Heart Shaped Love



The deafening sound of the alarm clock beside my bed continued to ring so I slowly stretched my hand to reach it. The morning rays of the sun were brightly shining through my window blinds. “Ugh! Too early to rise! It’s Monday again!” I really wanted to stay in bed for another minute but I remembered, I had to attend the DOTA tournament after class so I immediately got up from bed and had my morning routine.

I am Jason, a typical junior student of a private school in our town. Like the other normal students, I believe in one common reason we attend school – just to finish high school and go to college. In my school, I am called Jay (short for Jason). I am tall, a basketball varsity player, well-built, tan, and quite handsome. I can’t say I am from a wealthy family but I am living a comfortable life. I am not academically excellent but I am witty.  I do like reading but I don’t talk often. In short, I am just your ordinary teen age boy.

They say attending high school is the best chapter of a man’s life. Yes, it is somehow true. My friends would tell me that this is the perfect time to start experiencing extra ordinary things- vices, girls, sex or even drugs. I just shake my head. I have a private life. My life is simple. I go to school, listen to boring lectures, jot down some notes, go home then go in front of my computer. I am a computer addict. I play online games, I spend my free time surfing the net, I visit a lot of social networking sites and I love to chat with my friends.

I don’t have any girlfriends but I have a lot of flings. People always tell me that I am young to have a lot of flings but who cares? I am good looking and girls like and want me. I just had my first experience five months ago but it didn’t happen with my girlfriend! It happened with a girl I just met in a drinking spree during my best friend’s birthday. The moment was ecstatic and crazy. The girl wished to have me as her boyfriend but that didn’t happen. I am not into relationships. Relationships are bullshit. I personally can’t handle it.

July 8th. It was one lazy Monday at school. Our Chemistry teacher was patiently talking about ionic and covalent bonds when suddenly there were soft knocks on the door. Our teacher stopped talking and gave the person on the doorstep a sweet smile. I took a glimpse of who that person might be and I there I saw, one lovely girl, in her pink dress, her hair was neatly combed and tied up. I heard loud whispers from my classmates as they anxiously waited for the teacher to tell everyone what was happening. The girl gracefully moved in front of the class and then she started to speak.


CHERRY

The room was filled with wondering faces. I thought that these students were waiting for me to talk in front of them. I was a little nervous. Honestly, I am shy and timid. I don’t talk a lot. Well, I just talk when I am asked. My knees were a little bit wobbly when I started to move my feet. My lips were dry and my throat needed generous amount of water to soothe it. I clutched my small purse, slowly held my head high and started to speak.

“Good morning everyone.” I muttered.

“Ahhh hheeemmm!” I heard someone at the back clearing his throat. I looked at him and he grinned at me. He wore his typical high school uniform but his hair was sloppily combed.

“I am Cherry and I am a transferee.”

“Ohhh! Cherry! Delicious name!”  Again, that remark came from the same boy. I ignored him and continued my speech.

“My mom had to open her franchised business in this town so I have to move also. I am looking forward to have fun with you guys.”

There was silence in the room. The girls in front gave me a sharp look while the boys at the back were smirking at me. I looked at the teacher and he was smiling at me. That was my compliment. At least, someone gave me a sweet smile.

“Nice to meet you, Cherry! Ok, I hope you will be nice to her, guys. Hmm, Cherry, you can the seat at the back for the meantime.”

I looked at the direction where the teacher was pointing. Good heavens! The only vacant seat in the room was beside that sloppy-haired boy at the back. I walked on the right alley and carefully sat on the chair.

“Hi! I’m Jason.” He said arrogantly.

“Cherry.” I softly answered.

“Nice to meet you! I am pretty sure we will be having a good time together here.”

I didn’t give a response. I glued my eyesight to the teacher who was talking in front and in the corner of my eyes, I saw Jason staring at me but I ignored.

Months passed and eventually, I had already adjusted myself to my new school. I gained new friends. Jason was becoming more serious these passed months. He admitted he was into me but I said no. I made a promise to my mom that I had to finish high school without causing her trouble. That wasn’t clear to Jason. He said we could have a discreet relationship and have a good time together; still, I said no.

One afternoon, my girlfriends and I were busy chatting in one of the nipa huts of the school when suddenly..

“Hi, Cherry, can I get you a drink?”

It was Jason.

“No, thanks. I am still full.”

“Oh common, I know you like lemon soda.”

“I said I’m full.”

“You know what Cherry, you look more beautiful when you curl your forehead.”

“I don’t need your compliment, Jason.”

“But why? I am just telling you the truth!”

“The truth? Well, the truth is, I feel more beautiful without you in my sight!”

“Ouch! That really hurts, Cherry!”

“Those are just words, Jason!”

“Ok! Fine! What would you like me to do?”

“Stop hitting on me. I would really appreciate that!”

“But…”

“No buts!”


Jason left with a face of disappointment! Honestly, I wouldn’t like to do that. Jason was really nice to me, except that he was sometimes arrogant. I understood him that he was doing his best for me but as promised, I didn’t like to give my mom some troubles. My girlfriends once told me that I should give a shot. I kept thinking about that but my mind said no. I started to feel something for Jason but my mind was shouting loudly that my heart got scared to talk. I saw Jason joined his friends. He looked back at me and gave me a soft and sad face.


JASON

I didn't give up. I got Cherry’s number and started sending sweet quotes to her. I endured two months getting no response from her. This girl was really amazing. I thought I was not into relationships but I swallowed my own words. I added her on Facebook and luckily, she accepted my request. I didn’t let a day passed without visiting her profile and looked at her lovely pictures. At first, my only happiness was to see my comments to her posts being liked by Cherry. That was heaven for me. After such time, I mustered enough courage to click her name on my chat list and sent her a smiley emoticon. There was no answer. The next day, I sent one smiley emoticon again. Suddenly, I saw my chat box with her name typing a message. She sent me the same smiley emoticon. The feeling was euphoric! I involuntarily smiled and my heartbeat became faster. I kept telling myself it wasn't love but it turned out, it was love after all. I insisted it was just infatuation but I was fooling myself. I fell in love with Cherry!


CHERRY

February was fast approaching. My girlfriends were super excited because of the anticipated JS Promenade. Well, I was not. JS prom was just an ordinary program. What would I be excited for? The cotillion dance? The speeches? The coronation of the JS Prom King and Queen? Bah! Nonsense. My mom told me that she would buy me a new dress for the prom but I said it would be really impractical to buy a very expensive dress for a night.

February 14th. It was the general practice of the seniors and juniors for the JS Prom. It was exactly two hours ago since our dance trainer called us. However, nobody listened to him because of the other students’ excitement. I was just around the corner, not minding the people around me, waiting for my partner in the cotillion to arrive and scanning my inbox on my phone. There were a lot of valentine messages on my phone. Most of them came from my old acquaintances in the city. I felt soft pain in my heart when I suddenly remembered how we cried together when I finally told them that I was leaving. My old friends were crazy bitches, and I love them for being real.

I was about to close my inbox when a name caught my eyesight. Oh! It was Jason’s! He had a lot of text messages. I opened his messages and re-read them all. Jason was sweet. My girlfriends told me that they saw some changes in him since we met. I didn’t want to believe them but I could even prove it. Jason and I became closer and should I say, more intimate? Well, I really wanted to give a shot but I was really afraid of what my mom would tell me.


The cotillion participants were finally on the stage. The trainer started playing the music and we went immediately to our places. There I saw Jason, holding her partner. Alice, her partner showed me a face of joy. I pretended not to notice that but I suddenly felt soft twinge inside me. Why was I feeling that way? Have I fallen for Jayson? Dear God! No! I held my partners hand and followed the routine. The middle part of the dance was exchanging of partners. After five consecutive male partners, Jayson was finally in my hands. He gave me a soft smile and whispered:

“I saw jealousy on your face a while ago.”

“Me? Jealous?”

“Yes. I am sure you didn’t want Alice to be my cotillion partner.”

“I don’t care, Jayson. Be with whoever you want to be in this cotillion. I don’t really give a damn.”

“Really? But your eyes say something else.”

“Something else what? And what do you exactly want me to say? ‘Oh, Jason, I want you to be my partner. I want you to hold my hands and dance in the moonlight!’ Is that what you want to hear?”

“Nope, but I guess that is what exactly you want to tell me. And by the way, Happy Valentine’s Day.”


I couldn’t say a word. Yes! Those lines were the exact lines I wanted to shout at his face. But I couldn’t! And I was afraid. 

A minute passed and I just saw myself dancing with my original partner and Jayson was finally with Alice.



February 15th. The day of the not so anticipated JS Prom. It was 7:00 PM and the make-up artist whom my mom  hired was giving me his final retouch. After which, my mom gave me a tight hug and told me, “Cherry, you are so beautiful! Enjoy your night.” I thanked her and gave her a big hug in return. Her eyes welled with tears but I told her it would ruin my mascara if I was going to cry. She called our driver and asked him to send me to the venue. I bid my mom goodbye and rode in the car.

I finally arrived at the hall. I guess I was kind of early because the chairs were half empty. My two girlfriends were already there and gave me a high wave. I went to greet them and joined their table. My girlfriends were talking about their dresses but my eyes and mind were wandering. Where’s Jason?

Thirty minutes passed and the attendants were almost complete. The emcee finally had a roll call. But Jason wasn’t in the hall yet. Where the heck is he?

After five minutes, there he was, Jason in his black tuxedo. He was holding a bouquet of red roses and dear Lord. He was heading towards me. I pretended not to see him and looked at my girlfriends.

“Hi, Cherry.”

“Oh, Jason. Hi!”

“This is for you, Cherry.”

“For me? These roses?”

“Yes, for you.”

“But! What for?”

“Hmmm, nothing. Just want to give this to you.”

“Oh, Jason. You shouldn’t have done that.”

“It’s okay, Cherry. Hope you like it.”


Before I could give an answer, Jason was gone. He was already with his boyfriends. My girlfriends, on the other hand, were shouting with joy. Well, I felt happy too. Jayson was thoughtful and sweet. He was so perfect. But. There were buts. I faked my smile. How I wish.



“Ladies and gentlemen, Seniors and Juniors, before we eat our prepared food for tonight, we will give you this moment to choose your dance partners and you can enjoy dancing at the middle of the hall. We are only giving you thirty minutes for this part.”


Crap! But why do we really have to do this?  My girlfriends were already on the dance floor with their partners enjoying the sweet music in the air. I was left alone in the table. I brought out my smartphone and took some pictures.

“Aren’t you going to dance, Cherry?”

That voice was familiar and it came from my back. I felt a sudden rush in my vein.

“Jason! Why are you there? Aren’t you going to dance?”

“I’m asking you the same question.”

“Well, I was about to dance, you know.”

“Really? But you were taking photos on your smart phone.”

“Uhh! Hmmm, after taking photos…Hmmmm…”

“Well, can I have this dance?”

“Ohh..Hmmm…Sure sure.”


There I was, holding Jason’s hand and heading towards the dance floor. My girlfriends were smiling at me and I knew they were even more excited than I was. Jayson slowly held my left hand and wrapped his right hand on my back. I was trembling. Sweet Jesus! I was not comfortable. Jason was staring me in the eye and I couldn’t see him in his eyes. I knew inside me that he was smiling but I was not looking at him.

“Is everything OK, Cherry?”

“Yeah!”

“You don’t look like you’re OK though.”

“I am not used to dancing like this, Jayson.”

“Haven’t you danced with a guy yet?”

“I have. But this is unusual.”

“Unusual?

“Yes, I don’t know.”

“Hmmmm, Cherry?"

"Yes?"

"I have something to tell you."

"What is it?"

"Hmmmm.. I guess I have gathered enough courage to tell you this. Cherry, I think I’m in love with you.”


There it was. The line I was really afraid of. I became mute. I couldn’t say a word. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him but I really couldn’t. I looked him in the eye and softly said:

“You know my situation, Jayson. I am so sorry but I really couldn’t answer that.”

“I know, Cherry. By the way, I went to your house a while ago to check you out but your mom said you left already. Your mom was nice. She even invited me in and gave me a glass of iced tea.”

“Did you talk?”

“Yes, we did.”

“What did you tell her?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“Yes, nothing.”

“That’s why you were late.”

“Yes. That’s the reason. And by the way, she gave you a note. She told me she forgot to give this to you a while ago.”

Jayson handed me a note written on a gold something paper. And it read:



Cherry,


          First, I want to say sorry. Sorry because I was not always there for you. And sorry because I was meddling your things in your room and I saw your diary. I read it and I found out that you were afraid to be with someone because of me.
          Cherry, dear. You have proven me a lot of things. I think you are now free to do whatever you do in return to my lacking. I am your mother. I will always be happy if I’ll see you happy also.
          Follow your heart, child. Be happy and enjoy the rest of the night.

          Good luck to you and Jason.


                                                                                                    Mom




I couldn’t believe what I read. I folded the note and gave it a sweet kiss. My tears were rolling down on my cheeks and I couldn’t help myself than to give a soft sob. Jason was silently staring at me. I could hear my classmates cheering and laughing while dancing. I looked at Jayson and he was smiling. That was monumental. I leaped towards him and gave Jason a tight hug. I knew he was shocked. And I softly whispered in his ears..

“I love you, Jayson.”

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